INTEGRATION
INTEGRATION.
Integrating life is the most under-prioritized process yet it is fundamental to supporting every part of our health and the human experience.
Whether we’ve been on a spiritual retreat, a perspective shifting holiday, moving through a big change or simply feeling overwhelmed/underwhelmed.. We NEED to integrate. If we don’t, there is a split that occurs between our inner perception, outer reality and our nervous system not having the space to get up to speed, our constitution and our psyche need to digest time so our awareness can consolidate through harmony and embodiment rather than left disjointed and sometimes worse off!
There is a danger involved (especially in relation to healing, spiritual evolution and self development) when we don’t give ourselves space and supportive practices to simply ‘absorb’ and ‘gradient’ ourselves between experiences that alter our concept of life, whether that shift is emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually.. From depression and negative psychological patterns to complete disorientation, the implications of not having conscious consideration for integration can cause major issues in every aspect of one's life.
I am writing this because I know too well the struggles emotionally and psychologically, the nervous system feeling jolted and the discontentment when coming back to the ‘real world’ with such high inspiration and dreams to then feel completely lost in a questioning doubt.. This is related more so to deep processes on the spiritual level, although, this article is relevant for the multitude of scenarios as mentioned previously. The inspiration for these words has come from recently undertaking a 10 day solitude Vipassana silent meditation, as I have now gone about it from 2 different ends of the spectrum compared to last year’s Vipassana integration being non-existent, infact, my naivety, innocent ignorance led to complete despair.. I went from the highest of highs of such a timeless peace from Vipassana and connection to others to then hitting the lowest of lows after a big night out in Kings Cross Sydney the 2nd night after completion. I was knocked down by a wave of loneliness and questioning the point of human existence.
This is not the first time I have embarked on something transformative (at the time..) to then feel as though I’ve gone the opposite direction, infact, it has occurred so many times that it became a pattern that diminished the trust in myself and the core beliefs around life's purpose nearly every time, not light stuff! What once was then fades into just a distant glimmer of past enlightenment, inspiration, hope and clarity, because the experiences and frequency shifts had nowhere to land and overlay into ‘regular life’ as I simply didn’t realise how much space was needed, there wasn’t the opportunity to actually absorb and receive its impact.
Some of the challenges faced after an awakening, uplifting or expansive experience, such as a deep retreat or a scenario that shows you new self-realisations and enlightening clarity can then end up feeling really disheartened and uncomfortable. But, I want you to know you are not alone in this and there are solutions! Before we get jump ahead, here is some of what I have personally incurred, which many of us may be able to relate:
Feeling so much truth, love and ‘knowings’ that were so unshakable in that high frequency and container/experience, but what you come back to in relation to environment, people you once connected with, things you thought you liked, are not in resonance with your vibration shift, causing confusion and grief not knowing what to do with the perceived predicament… IE the reality we once thought we enjoyed or identified with now doesn’t mesh. When the egoic identity is very associated with the physical reality this can be completely discombobulating.
Spiritual Identity : Our egoic identity shifts from what it was, to the next stage of ‘spiritual persona’ as it feels nicer than what it was before but not realising it is still just another identity to get lost within. Which all serves a purpose in ones journey either way, just something to notice if it shape-shifts as we explore. When we give ourselves more time and space to drop into our hearts rather than caught in the minds new findings we can then anchor into what is true rather than what is shiny and enticing.
Feeling inspired and motivated to align with your highest self and visions, to then doubt it all as you haven’t been able to follow through or implement the ideas and the to do’s, the positive energy behind the clarity and insights is questioned, second guessing and insecurity then override what you felt at the time to be so true.
Past habits, old routines and behaviours creep back in quickly when don’t give ourselves space to slow down and be with our conscious awareness, which leaves you feeling like you’ve let yourself down. This becomes a vicious cycle as it lowers your self trust and confidence and can then be interpreted as ‘failure’. If it happens enough our psyche begins to identify with this as part of our personality structure as flawed or undisciplined, lowering our self-worth for not sticking with our high-vibe intentions.
Clinging vs aversion / like vs dislike the opposing 2 worlds (relatable to spiritual experiences from ascension to descension, coming back from holiday back into our everyday life.) What this can look like is demonizing the ‘real world’ / modern society, some of life's unwanted aspects, whilst attached to how we felt, making regular life feel like a slap in the face and completely unmotivating and confusing.
Lets learn how to rebel against society.
So, what does the transition and integration require to instead have a positive outcome? One that is stabilising, allowing your system to embody the full spectrum of life and achieve homeostasis between the variations? I’m glad you asked.. Although, you may have resistance to some of these recommendations, perhaps with a mindset from conditioned societal ideas that they aren’t ‘realistic’ or in accordance with responsibilities or expectations and so forth of the modern way in which we do things.. But no matter your individual circumstance, to some degree, they can be achieved and simply put, if these aren’t apart of the process, you will find that life gets harder after your big experiences, it's more of a detriment to your health as your personal evolution requires mental and emotional stability and a regulated nervous system.
Why go on these endeavours if not followed with grounding it all into your energy field, it’s truly worse off being a yo-yo.. Trust me, these below tips are here to help you so you can learn faster than me..
Here’s what you need:
Prioritize. Integration is your most important priority.. Not rushing back to the regular routine or the errands list (that will never be done either way as it's a continuous part of life, there’s no point being governed by it, especially over this most integral timeframe) . Be okay with minimising the importance of everything else, of not being reliable for others, it’s a great stage to implement boundaries with yourself.
Compromise. You have to lessen, reduce, refine, remove.. For this period (and most likely it will shift your whole perspective and you will notice yourself choosing to live in much more alignment to what is true and honouring of your needs and what actually makes you happy and healthy), be okay with saying no to nearly all social events, be okay with not living to the expectations you think you ‘should’ based on what others want. Do the bare minimum, if you have kids, they can miss out on their 5 different after school extracurricular activities for this period if it causes more strain and effort for them to attend. Your integration and wellbeing is the most supportive action you can take for all of you.
Rest. More than you feel is socially acceptable.. You’ll want to rest enough to the point that you may observe the guilt that we are conditioned to feel comes up, if not, you’re not resting enough. You also then have the opportunity to tell the voice to F%*# off and relish in the rest even more indulgently.
Slow everything down.. And then go slower. Notice where you are rushing and that you simply don’t need to.. Nothing in life needs to be rushed, it is our programming and over-fullness that makes us feel we need to get more done so we need to move quicker. This causes an unsafety and unsettledness internally feeling a sense of urgency back into ‘regular life’
Quietness. Actual silence. Zilch. Have solid periods of no music, no podcasts, no external noise. We can very easily be lured into the over-stimulation that releases chemicals that make us feel temporarily satisfied, but this is not going to help anchor us energetically into our bodies, quite the opposite, it’s a distraction. Let the sound of the world or the no sound around you be your guide to settle into presence, not the past or future. This integration time is also a retraining to be here now. Embodiment happens in real-time, not being anywhere else or in distraction.
Lightness, joy and play. When we transit through big shifts, perhaps contemplations on topics we take quite seriously that are personal to us, it can be quite ‘alot’.. This is where it’s very helpful to engage in the opposite! To remind us of the lightness and playfulness of our soul. Whatever makes you feel joyful and a sense of light heartedness, even some silliness! (gosh our inner child would love that one)
Nature. Nature is your healer. She is the mother that knows exactly what you need and all there is for you to do is give yourself to her, fully. Give yourself the permission to lay your belly on the grass, for however long it satisfies your body.
Choose just a couple small practices, rituals or tools that will support bridging your experience into your life, something that you can place conscious intention and just a little energy into, don’t over do it. Rather than coming back and feeling motivated with all these expectations that feel aligned for the highest version of yourself (all from good intentions, ofcourse) and then potentially not meeting them, we need to create enough space first and not be induced by self-pressure. Instead, all actions and choices simply brought through ‘loving kindness’ and accepting your humanness (even if you have had the most uplifting / enlightening experience doesn’t mean everything changes immediately, this is a sure way to get disappointed - real quick.)
Awareness of your energy. Just begin to notice what is not feeling in alignment energetically, small things, big things, environments, people and so forth. From an observational, curious perspective. This can be a very useful window for conscious, honest comprehension to come through, you will soon notice what is feeling supportive in your life and what is not. Very important to slow down and pay attention to how you feel and how your body reacts, allow it to be neutral and not attach stories, and slowly adapt your physical life to be in service to what is truly authentic to you.
Be careful not to fall in the trap of making the process over-structured with its own strict, rigid tasks to be doing it ‘right’ as this is just the same masculine driven societal conditioning, completely counterproductive to the whole intentions and purpose compared to truly listening to your wants and needs. The intellectual mind wants to make everything into a task it can tick and achieve, but relearning to truly honour your own rhythm means not putting expectation or pressure for anything in particular and truly hearing what your internal space is asking for in this time. The last thing you want to feel is overwhelmed or the voice that tells you you ‘should’ or ‘need’ to do or be in any particular way aside from what is most restorative and compassionate.
Do a clean of your home, or some messy drawers at least, something that allows the process of clearing out and ‘newness’ to energetically transcend into your living environment. Infact, you can do this with any aspect of your life you feel energised by the idea of clearing without it becoming an overwhelming duty or too much effort.. Our physical reality is a mirror to our internal space, our actions have impact.. Hence why it’s a perfect opportunity to utilise our awareness of daily life and how to interact with our home space as we settle back in. This will blend into the other categories of life with work environment, friendships and your actions within the everyday.
Exhibit A of the issue:
I had a friend complete a massive spiritual voyage here in Peru last year, to which I asked if they have a process for when they go home to Bali, they did not, along with the comment 'integration definitely needs time, a few days once I get back for sure’. This is what I am referring to with this whole topic, we expect ourselves to go from one extreme to the other thinking a few days will do the job. We’ve been conditioned to just ‘get back on the horse’ without too much delay. That is not going to support even a portion of what our systems truly need.. Let alone the jetlag. If you can’t give yourself the time and space to integrate then you have to take an honest look at what you are wanting to achieve and why, if you want the best outcome for yourself then you have to consider the entirety of what you are undertaking.
How long are we talking about for integration period?
This is dependent on the experience you have undergone, the discrepancy between the life you are going back to and also how you were living prior to this, how much do you truly prioritise your needs? Do you have a tendency to take on too much and put pressure on yourself, say yes when you mean no, guilt-ridden if relaxing ‘too much’ ? Or you simply have a system that takes its own unique amount of time to restore, absorb and regather (which is nearly every human!) I certainly have been a boiling pot of many behaviours that weren’t supportive of my mechanics and constitution, it’s taken me (and still learning) to move to the mountains of Peru to actually support my needs the way it has been calling for many, many years.. The level of rest and the pace in which feels natural, is somewhat startling. But, honouring this process is wildly healing, I even feel it is reversing the age of my cells, and I know it is for my highest good for evolutionary growth and alignment. This isn’t just about me caring about me either, it has a ripple effect out into the collective, into the lives of family and friends, into the field of consciousness! When we vibrate at our clearest, true frequency we are able to serve from a place of stability, authenticity and unity with something far greater than always being on top of every email or having to be obliged to say yes to everything you think you need to commit to.
Ofcourse, if you have a full time job I am not asking you to quit or take another 3 weeks leave. But everything aside from that working commitment needs to be solely focused on integration and nothing else. Communicate it, let people know, set boundaries and expectations and importantly those boundaries with yourself, this transcends into every relationship, situation and experience in your life and also gives permission for others to do the same when they can witness a model of someone actually tending to their sovereign choices.. Your action make impact on the collective, you choosing you is actually the most compassionate and courageous act you can make also for others, as you are showing up in authenticity. It is healing on a frequencial level and this invisibly alters our collective, each time we choose authentic truth.
My personal suggestion for time frame is atleast a few weeks if you have undertaken a few night retreat, at minimum, you want to weave into a rhythm that continues prioritizing what you know you need, you have formed and nurtured a deeper relationship to yourself and your life through this softening transition. Perhaps you’ve had a deep process from a workshop or personal practise, this too needs to be honoured, I would suggest a week if you have had something big shift. You may actually end up altering a lot of your previous way of doing things for a version that actually will look after you for the long run.. Worth those extra intentional weeks, right? How you integrate isn’t just a one time step though, it’s a way of communing with your human experience continuously.
You may want to add blocks of small ‘time out’ periods in the coming months especially, where you can check back in, observe, reflect and keep fostering the embers from the fire that was lit through the expansive or healing experiences, to let your body and your soul know you have not forgotten, that the density of the real world has not swept you too far away.
Let’s chat!
Do you have a situation, past experience, perhaps something coming up in your future that this blog relates to? If you have questions, would like some guided advice or would like to share further thoughts and ideas on this topic.. Open a conversation with me! info@zensiretreat.com.au
Email us and I will personally respond to what is it you want to connect on. Open conversations that give us relief knowing we aren’t the only ones moving through change is what the collective needs in these shifts.
From my heart to yours,
Namaste
Ruby - Cofounder of Zensi Retreat.